


On Vacations!

by FujurPreux



Category: Doctor Who, Lilo & Stitch (2002)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-16
Updated: 2012-09-16
Packaged: 2017-11-14 09:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/513983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FujurPreux/pseuds/FujurPreux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor needs Jumba's help to stop a catastrophe, and Jumba wants a little something in return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Vacations!

**Author's Note:**

> Each part written for a different prompt of the [cottoncandy_bingo](http://cottoncandy-bingo.dreamwidth.org/)challenge at DW: "Boat / Ship / Cruise", "Lying / Sitting on the carpet / rug", "Shower / Bath", "Childhood sweethearts" and "Tradition (old)", respectively.  
> [Here's a link to the card](http://alcesverdes.dreamwidth.org/464833.html).

I

Jumba Jookiba was one of the best known evil geniuses in the galaxy, and he had the information the Doctor needed to stop one of the many catastrophes he tended to stumble upon. The Doctor began looking for him in his usual hideouts, but soon found out that, after a brief period in jail, he had been exiled by the Galactic Federation.

"Earth? What do you mean Earth?" he asked the Great Councilwoman, leaning down on her desk, making quite clear how much of a bad idea he thought that was.

 The Great Councilwoman looked back at him calmly. "Jumba is in a small island without any proper scientific equipment. He won't cause any trouble. And he's under constant surveillance."

 The Doctor pointed at her with a finger. "Do you know anything about humans? They go everywhere! There's not a place in the universe safe from them! More so in their own planet! It doesn't matter how small or how remote the island, they'll get there!" He breathed. "But there's no time to discuss that now. I'll find a new place for Jumba later. Which island?"

 The Great Councilwoman typed something on her desk and a three-dimensional model of the Earth showed up. A small red dot blinked on the surface.

 "You're kidding me," the Doctor said.

 

 

In any other circumstances, the Doctor would've been quite happy to visit Hawaii. But now he was in a hurry, not to mention part of him expected to find the place on fire and an evil laugh in the background. He was wrong---at least on the first part. Everything was business as usual, with the tourists being the inconsiderate happy people they always were. Regarding the evil laugh... well, he heard it after walking his first hundred meters.

 "He's from Samoa," said a small child, about six years old, to an elderly couple who were taking photographs of her and... of Jumba Jookiba, whose hand the little girl was holding. Jumba was who laughed---evilly--and posed for the picture, a wide-brimmed hat on his head. A couple of clicks from the cameras later, the girl took some money from the tourists and gave Jumba one of the bills. "See? What did I tell you?" she added with a grin.

 Jumba pocketed the bill. "It really is that easy, huh?"

 "Excuse me," the Doctor said towards them.

 "If you want photos, you're going to have to wait," the girl said. "We're on a break."

 The Doctor smiled. "Are you, now? Well, that's fantastic since I'm going to have to borrow your friend for a while."

 "Have we met?" Jumba said, examining the Doctor with all of his eyes.

 "I'm the Doctor."

 "He's not sick. He's from Samoa," the girl said standing now between Jumba and the Doctor.

 Jumba had the decency to move her aside. "No, Lilo, that's his name. And, before you ask, he's an alien too."

 Lilo stared at the Doctor for a second. "You're still not getting a tour with a discount."

 "I can respect that. But I'm not here on vacations."

 "But the island is very pretty ."

 "Let me handle this, Lilo," Jumba said. He turned to the Doctor. "What do you need me for?"

 So the Doctor told him.

 "Fine, I'll help you. But with one condition."

 "I have no time for this!"

 "You take me and my family on a trip to space!"

 "Your family?" the Doctor said after a surprised pause.

 Lilo raised up her hand and waved.

 The Doctor looked at her. "My ship is not a cruise," he said, weakly.

 "That means we'll get to see other planets and everything?" Lilo added, her eyes wide and her whole face shining with the mere idea.

 Jumba smiled at her and then turned to the Doctor.

 The Doctor pointed at Jumba with his index finger. "That's really unfair." He turned to Lilo. "Get your suitcase ready, Lilo. We'll be back in an hour."

 

 

This once, the TARDIS seemed to agree with the Doctor's promise, since she appeared back in Kauai in the same place and at the right time.

"See? I told you," Lilo was saying when the Doctor opened the door.

"Lilo, I'm never doubting you again," said another voice. A young male, apparently.

As soon as the Doctor stepped out from the TARDIS, Lilo took his hand to guide him. "Come, I'll introduce you to everyone."

"Everyone?" he asked, turning back to Jumba.

"My family, as I told you," he replied, shrugging.

"Jumba! You're fine! I was so worried!" An one-eyed alien with three legs came running to Jumba. He was wearing the uniform of the Galactic Federation, so that must be the surveillance the Great Councilwoman mentioned.

"That's Pleakley," Lilo said. "And that's my sister Nani." A young woman, smiling apologetically, waved at them. "This is Stitch--he's Jumba's genetic experiment," Lilo added with a whisper. The Doctor looked at the small, furry and blue creature wearing sunglasses. But he didn't have time to examine it properly, since Lilo carried on. "And those are David and Gantu."

The Doctor looked up to see Gantu's face. He knew of him and his reputation. He also knew Gantu had been dishonorably discharged for failing to apprehend a prisoner. It didn't seem a good idea to ask about details. So he began to open his mouth---but Jumba interrupted.

"Are we ready? There are a lot of places to see out there!"

The Doctor glanced at the whole family again and smiled. He clapped his hands. "Come on! Get in, people! The sooner the better! We have the whole of space and time waiting for us! Just stay close at all times and keep all your limbs inside the TARDIS. And I do mean all of them."

 The group, carrying their suitcases went inside the TARDIS. Even if some of them felt sorry for the intrusion, everyone was obviously excited by the idea of the trip. That was good.

 That was very good.

 

 

II

 

The Doctor didn't remember the last time he'd had so many people on the TARDIS. Or even if he'd ever had so many people on the TARDIS at the same time. Jumba, Pleakley, Lilo, Stitch, Nani, David, Gantu. Seven of them. Seven. He had already spent at least a few minutes with each of them and found them wonderful in their own ways. They were from different species and different planets---and the way they saw life in general was diverse as well. Yet, as a group, they worked quite well, too. Or at least better than other groups the Doctor knew.

 "It all began when a rogue genetic experiment fell down from the stars," was a great beginning for any story. The Doctor could even identify with it---even if he wasn't a genetic experiment, he had fallen from the stars with an certain frequency.

In short, it took less than a day for the Doctor to get to really like them all. Even Gantu and his temper.

"Was it Jumba the prisoner you couldn't catch?" the Doctor asked him the first night when the both of them were finally alone in the ship. Gantu insisted in "mounting guard", code for: "I don't trust the Doctor." It had been quite transparent and the Doctor was fine with that, to say the truth.

Gantu mumbled for a bit. "Experiment 626," he finally said. "Or Stitch, as he's called now."

"Oh, I see. Lilo named him, didn't she?"

"I understand as much," Gantu said, his arms folded and his eyes fixed on the control panel.

"Ask away if you want to," the Doctor said as he went to move some of the knobs and levers. Not because it was needed, but because he wanted to give the impression he was actually piloting the TARDIS.

"How do you manage to keep track of everything?" Gantu asked after a moment. "A ship like this should need at least three people in charge."

"So, you noticed." A brief pause. "Well, there is a short and simple explanation for that."

Gantu waved his hand. "It doesn't matter. As long as you know what you're doing."

"It's your lucky day, then! I always know what I'm doing!"

Gantu rolled his eyes. Difficult to see given his stature and the structure of his cranium but he did it.

The Doctor beamed. "Do you have any special requests? I'm still deciding on our first destination."

Gantu stroked his chin. "Well, there was this place I could never visit because I was busy with work: Enterium IV."

The Doctor made a face. "Oh, come on! I just took you lot out from one beach!"

"You asked."

"There has to be something else. How about Toleim X?"

"Isn't that the one with the horrible desert of doom?"

"Yep! Those are the most fun!"

"Doctor, there's Lilo to think about."

"Oh, right... Right." He rubbed his hands. "We'll have to think about something else, then. I know I have a catalog somewhere..."

 

 

Not much later, after the Doctor made a show of putting the TARDIS on autopilot, Gantu and the Doctor were sitting down on the carpet of one of the living rooms going through several View-Masters, trying to decide on a beautiful, exciting, child-proof place for their first landing. They finally decided on Omtalas II, a nice and quiet planet with hotels on the top of the loveliest chain of mountains anyone could set eyes upon.

 

 

The next morning, the rest of the travelers received with joy the news of their destination and got ready to sky, build snowmen and participate in snow fights.

Nevertheless, when they landed, they were immediately banned from the hotels, the towns and even the planet itself. As it turned out, Omtalas II was one of the places where Stitch caused mayhem when he went through his monster phase. 

Stitch cackled when he heard that. "Stitch remembers that! It was fun!"

Everyone looked at him, but he kept laughing unrepentantly.

The Doctor gave Stitch a small notebook and a pencil. "We're going to need a list of all the places you've been."

Stitch took it, sat down on the floor and began writing. "It will be a long list," he mumbled.

"I'm so proud of you," Jumba began, but Nani shut him up with a glare.

"It's okay," the Doctor said. "The universe is big and we have to prevent this from happening again."

"I don't know. I always wanted to be one of those turists," Lilo said.

"Lilo!" Nani said, but it was more of a sigh.

Meanwhile, Stitch kept on writing and writing and writing.

 

 

III

 

The Doctor was a little ashamed of himself. He should have not only foreseen this problem from day one, but he should have fixed it by now. It was a big inconvenience and it made them lose precious time.

"You should have more bathrooms," Lilo said, all serious, the way she addressed all serious matters. She was already bathed and dressed, since she was one of the earliest risers on board.

"It usually isn't necessary," the Doctor replied. He was the last in the line. It seemed appropriate, since he was the host. "Is it normal for Pleakley to take this long?"

"Yep," the child replied.

The Doctor sighed. Lilo patted his leg.

"It's okay," she said. "Stitch is small and he has six arms, so it doesn't take him long to shampoo himself. And he promised he wouldn't play in the bathtub."

The Doctor sighed again.

"Oh, but it's worth it," Jumba, who was right in front of him, added. "The fruity shampoo he uses is quite good. We could even use him as a ship freshener! That was an unintended side effect from the genes I used to get his fur, but who's complaining?"

"Who's complaining, really," the Doctor repeated. He made a pause. "So, out of curiosity, what other unintended effects you got there?"

Jumba shrugged. "In Stitch? Well, that he developed empathy and a conscience was also a surprise."

The Doctor smiled. "I see."

While they were talking, Pleakley finally came out from the bathroom, so Stitch went it.

The rest kept on waiting and talking.

 

 

Finally, everyone of them was ready for breakfast. Which was good, since Lilo was starting to complain she was hungry. With Stitch's list in hand---which at the end had been less terrible than the Doctor had feared, since all the planets there were in one side of the galaxy---the Doctor selected a nice, urban restaurant in an industrial planet. He'd never been there, but he'd read good reviews of both the planet and the restaurant, which was on top of one of the tallest buildings in that particular city.

"I reserved the table with the best view," the Doctor announced when they went inside.

"I want next to the window!" Lilo said. Stitch followed her. The rest were right behind them.

"It's beautiful!" Nani said as he looked down from the window. The city below them was huge and it had many factories, but everything was clean, each building was unique in its design and had least one patch of green somewhere, and bright colors seemed to be a popular choice.

"People here are mindful of the image they project," the Doctor said.

"That sounds familiar," David said. "It's all business at some point, isn't it?"

"Not everything," the Doctor protested.

"Nani, can I have some coffee too?"

Nani rolled her eyes and went to her little sister. "Lilo! We've talk about this!"

"Excuse me, sir," a waiter said to the Doctor, "could you please tell your companions that our salad bar isn't a wig store?"

The Doctor then realized they'd lost track of Jumba and Pleakley. "Well, that's your fault for selling salads that look that wigs, isn't it?" he said, but he went to look for them.

Half and hour later, the group was eating something that looked like scrambled eggs at a street stand, since the Doctor had been right and the salads did look like wigs, and he couldn't help himself.

But they had a great time anyway. Who needed those fancy restaurants when you had people to try wigs with.

(And Lilo got to take a sip from Stitch's cup of coffee. She didn't like it, so she went back to her milk.)

An excellent morning, all in all.

 

 

IV

 

They had already gone to several places, and they hadn't been unceremoniously thrown out from all of them. In some places, the locals would actually perform a ceremony before doing it.

"You really, really should stop waking up ancient gods, people," Pleakley said, brushing his sleeve. The group's latest attempt at spelunking had made him upset.

"It wasn't a god," the Doctor said, with special emphasis in 'god'. "It was only an old computer with a corrupted program and delusions of grandeur. " He picked up Stitch and kissed his nose. "I'm so glad you're immune to extreme temperatures!"

"Hey! That's thanks to me!" Jumba said.

"I'm not kissing you," the Doctor said. "And that fruity shampoo is indeed delicious," he told Stitch before putting him down next to Lilo and went to the control panel. "Were to, now?"

"Can we go to a quiet place, for a change?" David asked, from the TARDIS floor. He was so tired he'd flopped there as soon as they came back.

"One were we can hear some stories and legends?" Nani added. She apparently had got over her urge of chocking the Doctor for the perceived endangerment of her little sister. (It had been only perceived, honest.) "That would be nice."

"Yes, I'd like that too," Gantu said.

"Oh, alright," the Doctor said. He clasped his hands. "And I know just the place!"

 

 

The TARDIS appeared in the outskirts of a mountain range in spring. It was mid afternoon.

"Follow me, gang," the Doctor said. He led them through the forest all the way to a small hostel surrounded by trees and shrubberies managed by an old couple.

"Some of you will have to share rooms," the man said.

"That should be no problem. Right, people?" the Doctor said. The rest made noises of agreement.

"Very well. Come with me, then. I'll get you some refreshments."

"Actually, we were wondering if you could tell us the stories of these mountains. I've heard they're remarkable."

The man smiled. "My wife is better at that than me, so you'll have to wait until supper."

"Oh, we can do that."

"Can I go play outside?" Lilo asked.

"Take Stitch with you," Nani replied.

"Don't worry, I'll go too," the Doctor said.

"Stitch, take care of the Doctor too!" Nani added without missing a beat.

The Doctor sent a hurt look to Nani, who didn't seem to notice, and went outside with Lilo and Stitch. Jumba and Pleakley followed.

Lilo was looking at some flowers and Stitch sniffed at everything on his path.

"What a lovely place," Jumba said, looking around.

"No people staring, no angry mobs... Paradise!" Pleakley said. "And the hostel owners look so happy together! Oh, to find lasting love!"

"Oh, it is." the Doctor said. "Lasting, I mean. Last time I was here, they were just children, and already in love. They don't seem to remember me, though. I don't blame them---"

"Nobody would," Pleakley interrupted.

The Doctor glared at him. "Because I had a different face, I was going to say."

Stitch came towards them. "I found a button. A big, red button!"

"Really?" the Doctor said. "Did you press it?"

"Yup!"

"Good---! No, I mean," he coughed. "Did something happen?"

"I'm not sure, but I think we should run," Stitch added with a grin.

At that precise moment, the mountains began to shake. A hole was opening on the top of one of them, and weird noises came out from it.

Pleakley had already picked up Lilo and was running towards the hostel. "I'll get the others!"

The Doctor beamed. "What if we're lucky and this time they are actually gods?"

As an answer, Pleakley's toothbrush hit him on the back of his head.

It had been worth it.

 

 

V

 

"...so, when the time came," the Doctor was saying, "he went back to his planet to take his rightful place in the throne. Because 'The King' wasn't only a nickname, and sending the royal heirs to different planets to learn about the customs of others is an old tradition of them."

"I knew it!" Lilo said.

"That's because you have common sense," the Doctor said, poking the child's nose. Then he proceeded to finish his milkshake. They were in a mall that covered a whole planet, and which sold all sort of things from every corner of the galaxy. Stitch had been left in charge of Lilo and the Doctor again while the adults went shopping. Of course, they chose that exact moment to return.

"Doctor, please stop filling Lilo's head with those stories!" Nani said as she sat down next to her sister.

"But it's all true!" the Doctor exclaimed. "Elvis was an alien, promise."

"To be honest, I think I heard something like that once," Jumba said. He carried about two dozen boxes, with all the things Pleakley had bought.

"Can you take us to see him?" Lilo asked.

"I don't know, Lilo. He's very busy this days. But I'll tell you what!" he hurried to add, "Since the TARDIS is a time machine, why don't we go to one of his concerts?"

Lilo's face brightened "Can we? Really?"

"Sure! Why not?" the Doctor looked around. "All in favor?"

They were, some because Lilo had spreadlove for Elvis to them, the others because they wanted to see Lilo happy. The Doctor was aware he was lucky that the TARDIS was a real time machine; he didn't want to face their wrath if Lilo was disappointed because of this. Actually, he wouldn't have want to face his own wrath if Lilo's heart broke after seeing her smiling and bouncing like that. So, they finished eating and head back straight to the TARDIS.

 

 

For once, it all went well, even if the place was packed with screaming teenagers. Lilo and Stitch danced to Elvis's music on Gantu's hands---a safe place from where they could watch every little detail on the stage---while the others waited in the back.

"Of all the things that have happened in my life since Stitch fell on Earth, this is the strangest," David said.

"I know. Finding enough tickets was a miracle," the Doctor replied.

"These have been the best vacations ever!" Jumba said, gasping. He was out of breath after half an hour of dancing with Pleakley. "Do I have the best ideas or what?" He laughed. Evilly. Even the Doctor was getting used to it.

"We can do it next year too, if you want," the Doctor offered.

"Only if we include in the tour planets where I can use my high-heels," Pleakley said. "With all the running, I couldn't even take my best shoes from their boxes."

"We'll see about that," the Doctor said.

"And we can invite Cobra Bubbles," Nani said.

"Cobra Bubbles? You know Cobra Bubbles?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes, he's from Social Services," Nani said.

The Doctor laughed. "So he wasn't kidding when he said he had switched jobs. Oh, the stories I could tell you!"

"Let's go get an autograph, Gantu!" Lilo yelled, and Gantu moved, his height a great advantage over the teenagers.

Absolutely the best vacations, the Doctor thought. Perhaps he could invite the Ponds as well next year. They were going to love this bunch. And the more, the merrier, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [Laurus Nobilis](http://laurus-nobilis.dreamwidth.org/), because I got the idea from her.


End file.
